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Surveyed in a Condom Company Study as a Freak Size Anomaly

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10 September 2011

“Next please! Yes, your name? Okay… the number you were given when you came in? All right, then. And… we’re asking every gentleman to tell us his perceived size. Yes, be honest please. Doesn’t matter if you’ve measured yourself before or not. What do you think your size is?

Okay then. Now, I take the scientific measurement. No, your results won’t be divulged here, but we may mail the results to you if you like. Now, hold your member out straight for me please. I said hold it out please… you are??

Well, where is it? But I don’t see… why, that can’t be… I’ve never… Let me call the Head Researcher over here. I’m really not sure what to do with you. We want to know the AVERAGE NORMAL size of our clients across the globe. You… well, your size doesn’t really exist. Does it?

Well, let me go ahead and record your erect measurements. Yes, I’ll wait. Please hurry. Hold it out straight for me again. Now… well, are you sure that’s hard? I don’t see any difference…”