“That was about the hottest thing I have EVER seen! I’m really considering buying it again! HAHA! Seriously, that was PERFECT!”

"That was about the hottest thing I have EVER seen! I'm really considering buying it again! HAHA! Seriously, that was PERFECT!"

Misusing You for My Own Benefit until You’re All Used Up

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17 November 2011

I’m so sorry. I did it again, didn’t I? I didn’t even THINK to ask you first. I should’ve had your permission before changing you into something different entirely and taking away your own body. Maybe it would’ve been polite to even warn you beforehand.

But you see, I needed you. What was I to do? I was in a hurry, a big rush. I forgot my sports bra for exercising. It was in the wash! I don’t have another. I had to have YOU. You’re a great stand-in for my exercise clothes when I’m in a pinch. …or my cozy flats when I need to relax. …or a well fitting pair of pantyhose when I’m late for a very important job interview.

You’re always there when I need you… whether you’re willing or not. But, I’m so very sorry. I’ve changed you too many times. My pantyhose – YOU as my pantyhose – got snagged. YOU ripped right up my leg! I can’t change you back. I’ve tried.

The third time’s the charm, I guess. It’s time to toss you out for good. What do I need with a torn pair of pantyhose??