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I’m Here to Ensure You Have a Very Comfortable Flight


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20 May 2009

How are you this afternoon, Sir? Well, that’s wonderful. I’ll be your air hostess assigned to our First Class passengers aboard today, and I’m here to ensure that you have the most comfortable flight possible. You just press that call button above your head the moment that you need anything, okay?

…Yes? Well, I’ll be most happy to get that for you, Sir. Here you go… anything else? Oh, yes, your seat belt does need some adjustment. Let me see what I can do about that for you… How’s that now? Very good then! Now, you just let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.

….Yes? Oh, you’re just a bit antsy about flying today? Now, there’s nothing at all to worry about, and you’ll be happy to learn that we have been instructed in the art of some very special and effective “relaxation techniques” specifically designed to calm your nerves and help you enjoy the flight. Would you like me to show them to you?

I’ll be very specific, very patient, and I won’t leave your side… or your lap… until you feel completely comfortable again.

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