“Something about your voice is just really inviting… and encouraging, perhaps because you are so nice off camera as well.”

"Something about your voice is just really inviting... and encouraging, perhaps because you are so nice off camera as well."

I Caught a Fraternity Boy Depositing a Sperm Sack at My Desk

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7 September 2011

(YOUR PRE-VIEWING ASSIGNMENT: Have a hot supply of at least 100mL of sperm OR 100 loads, whichever is greater, to play along.) You’re entranced by the most popular professor at university; EVERYONE is. The signup list for her classes is always overflowing year to year; she’s legendary for her pantyhose clad legs and her incredible, unknowingly erotic shoe play during lecture.

And lately, frightening as it is, she’s been finding filled condoms deposited in the drawers of her desk in the lecture hall. She’s positively aghast, left wondering what she’s done to merit such torment year after year, and completely unaware that a fraternity dare has been taking place meriting such personal depository prizes for the hottest professor on campus.

You’re only playing along, doing your part. But she’s about to catch you right in the act, and she’s going to have a harsh punishment in store… demanded to be performed right in her office before her very long-lashed eyes and much to her flattery.

She’s also known for her heart of gold… she may be punishing you with your commanded performance, but she’s also willing to allow you to earn your good grades back… for a price.