Your Prim and Proper Mother Struggles to Deliver a Very Important Message

1 November 2016

Hi, honey… I’m glad we have a moment for… just a quick discussion. You see… this is very hard for me to… um… talk about. I… well, I’ve noticed – now that you’re dating – that you seem to prefer… that you choose… well, that you go out with BAD GIRLS, girls with BAD reputations.

Well, you see, that’s not what… well, not at all… I didn’t imagine you’d… honey, I want you to date shy, religious girls. Yes, I think that’s most appropriate.

For, I just don’t see why you’d even rather… Oh… OH!!! Honey, I can’t believe you just described that TO YOUR MOTHER! Oh, oh… oh… my ears are burning!

No, no, okay, okay… well, honey, I think you should only be dating NICE girls, the kind that might… give you… a goodnight kiss… AT MOST. Do you understand? And then, if you find yourself… at the end of a date… *stressed* …or something… I can, your mother can, take care of it. Do you understand?

Would you like me to give you a sample? …I’m so glad we could make this little deal together…

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November 3, 2016 at 1:23 pm

Michael says:

Thank God for you! He truly blessed me to give me such a loving, caring, and understanding mother as you who wants nothing but the best for me. I know you just want me to be happy when I become married to a nice girl who always loves her parents and always go to church.
The only reason I was going out with those girls with the bad reputations was because they said that they could help me deal with the stress of my urges at the end of a date by doing… those things… to me. They said that it was only natural and that it was Him that gave me these urges in the first place. So why shouldn’t I do something that I was made to do? I did feel a lot better after I… made a mess. But now I see that what they were doing was just not Christian.
Now, though, I know that I can just come to Mommy whenever I need help with my stress. I know it’s uncomfortable for you, it almost makes you feint, to have to touch your own son. I almost feinted myself. You even have to avert your eyes from such an untoward, taboo act. But this is for my own good, and I’m sure that He will understand this little deal we have is only to keep me on the righteous path.
I don’t need those other girls. I just need to find a nice girl who’s shy, smart, pretty, religious, who I respect and appreciate, and who gives me a goodnight kiss at the end of a night… someone… almost like… you. It’s been said that men are always looking for a woman who’s like their mothers because no girl is more perfect than Mommy. Maybe it’s true. None of the nice girls are as beautiful as you are. None of the nice girls have hands that are as soft… and as skilled…like you’ve done this before…Ahem! What I meant to say is that none of the nice girls are as proper as you, or have a more radiant smile than you, or dress as amazing as you, or has your figure, or has breasts… as big… with perfect nipples… I just want to… put my mouth… OOOOOOHHHH! I’m SO going to H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks!

Your Prim and Proper Mother Struggles to Deliver a Very Important Message

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Your Prim and Proper Mother Struggles to Deliver a Very Important Message

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