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Using All Her “Human Resources” to Keep Her Job

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25 February 2011

I think I know why I’m here. There can only be one reason why the manager of the company’s Human Resources department must meet with me himself: I’m in BIG trouble. I can play it innocent but… are my female coworkers in the office talking badly about me again? They’re just jealous.

Are my male fellow employees questioning my professionalism or work ethic? You know they all want me. Did you hear about my excellent quarterly review? Did you notice my employee-of-the-month awards? Were you informed that I helped to write the employee handbook?? And I know you’ve noticed how conservatively dressed I am right this moment.

I know my job is in jeopardy. I want a second chance. It feels a bit hot here in your office… do you mind if I take off my suit jacket…