“What sets you apart from other more pedestrian performers is your voice, natural attitude and innate sexiness.”

"What sets you apart from other more pedestrian performers is your voice, natural attitude and innate sexiness."

Coercing My Escaped Shrunken Men Pets to Surrender


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17 November 2010

How are my little darlings today? Are you all behaving? Now, don’t fuss. You know you’re lucky you do get to sit atop the counter top with a good view, have each other to keep you company, and get some nice fresh air flowing through your little cage. You look so adorable. Such a perfect accessory for me, my little men pets!!

Now, I don’t want any trouble from you today. No running and fussing about. And definitely no complaining! I might just accidentally suck you up with my big vacuum cleaning machine! Oh no!! We wouldn’t want that to happen, now, would we?? Just keep yourselves occupied while I tend to the household chores. I have a lot of work to do today. …..

(Oh, those little runts! I think I just saw one running along the carpet from the corner of my eye! Don’t they know how dangerous it is to roam free in my big old house… ESPECIALLY on vacuuming day?!? I’ll have to teach them a lesson, one by one. They think I don’t know they’re trying to see up my dress atop my stockings as I utilize all of the vacuum attachments to keep a clean home for them. They’re so ungrateful!

I’m just going to have some fun… tease them a bit… prolong the agony… pretend that I don’t know they’ve just freed themselves from their cage and are scurrying all over the living room now like little ants. Ungrateful, pathetic ants! They’ll think they’ve really lucked out this time, getting the best view possible and seeing the best show ever… me playing with my vacuum accessories and enjoying the suction action all over my body and then………POW! I’ll let them know they’re in BIG trouble!

If they don’t surrender their individual hiding spots, I’m going to suck them right up in my vacuum machine! Well, and even if they DO surrender. I have to teach them a lesson!)