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Unknowingly Transforming into the Overly Delightful Housewife You Always Wanted

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4 November 2011

What do you want? For me to be an obedient, eager to cook and clean, baby-wanting mistress of yours? PUH-LEASE! I’ll never wear an apron! Or high heels. Or a mini skirt! You want a slut, a baby-having slut! You don’t want a woman with her own mind or a cause to fight for or an opinion! You want me to be at your beck and call, to…

…what? You have what for me? What’s this? An herbal supplement? Is it organic? Is it natural? Oh, all right then. That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for me. A gift? You’ve never… well, I won’t bother you then. Go back to work, honey.

I’ll leave you alone in your office. What? Oh, I must not have called you “honey.” You know I wouldn’t do that…