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You’re Caught Worshiping My Feet at Bible Study

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17 July 2015

Welcome to my in-home bible study group! How’d you hear about us? Do you belong to a nearby church? Attend service regularly? Well, that’s fine; we welcome everyone. If you’ll just have a seat, I’ll start today’s discussion by first reading from a selected chapter of the Bible. Please be respectful and listen very careful, accept every word into your hard so that you may hear God’s intended message for you. …. What… are you paying attention? Are you distracted by something?

I’ll continue to read. …. Excuse me!! Are you… staring at my feet?! But what… I’m sorry if my absentminded playing with my flip flops with my bare feet unintentionally caught your attention but… I was reading some very serious material here! Are you… do you have a FOOT FETISH?!

This is something we must address right here and now. Just how focused are you on my feet? Do you actually LOVE my feet? You say you actually WORSHIP feet?!? I won’t hold back in chastising and berating you for your disgusting fetish right here and now. You’re WRONG. You’ve got a very unholy problem! You… and you… you’re SHRINKING! Oh, my word, that’s actually laughable!

Oh, look at you and your dwindling size!… right before MY divine feet. This must be heaven for a pathetic little foot freak. I guess that… makes ME your god! That’s right, you’re now going to spend the rest of your life in devotion to MY feet… worshiping and praising my superiority… and you will write a new foot lover’s bible devoted to MY feet!