"I’m finding it difficult to refrain from excessively praising the woman who introduced me to a higher form of erotica."

Masturbation Instruction: Treat Your Cock Right

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10 October 2008

No, no, no. You’re doing it all wrong! Does that even feel good? It can’t possibly. I’m going to show you just what to do, how to masturbate the RIGHT way. And you’re going to come so hard with a nice, big load for me. Now, grab your favorite lotion… yes, you need to use lots of lotion!

…and you’re not going to touch your cock until I tell you to. And HOW I tell you to. Treat your cock right and it will treat YOU right.

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