"You're a MILF and a half. Nothing comes close to the Tara Tainton experience!"

ALL My Clothes Are Now Too Small!

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22 January 2010

Oh, why does getting dressed have to be such a big ordeal! This never happened before YOU fattened me up! What am I going to do now?! It starts with my panties… I can barely pull them up over my buns… only to get a big wedgie! OWWWW! Better go for a tiny g-string instead… just like dental floss up my ass crack!

My bra? Forget it! But at least breasts look great to YOU when they’re bursting out all over the place. My sexy stockings won’t work; they just squeeze into my thighs. This looks horrible! I’m going to have to cover up with pants… but even they are way too tiny!

What happened? Did you shrink all my clothes?? I can barely pull my pants over my bum… I’ve even got to do a little dance to try to stretch them out enough to zip and button them! I HAD the cutest little argyle sweater… but you must’ve shrunk it as well!! How could you?? It can’t be me that’s gotten bigger… But my favorite blouse won’t even button all the way up either!!

How am I going to go out like this? I’ll just hold my breath all night long and suck in my giant flabby stomach! As for shoes… how in the world did they get to small? Too tiny heels are so dangerous! I’m hobbling all over, my thighs are suffocating, and my breasts are bursting out of my blouse…. HELP!!!!

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