"I know this is a bit odd, but you are the only one that can do this..."

I’m not Fat… I’m not Fat… I Can’t Be!!

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24 August 2011

Just when I think the world – life – is just how I think it is… EVERYTHING changes on me! I still blame my jealous girlfriend. She steals everything out of my closet all the time. Then, she washes the clothes thinking I won’t be able to tell she took them. And then I find them way too small for me to wear!

Sure, I haven’t tried on my favorite button fly jeans or tight stirrup stretch pants in a while but…. I couldn’t have gotten any bigger. That NEVER happens to me! But how she got my button up blouses to THIS tiny state, I’ll never know! I’m going to have to kill her… after I give my second and third favorite jeans a try, one blouse after another as they get tighter and tighter, and even a sweater… that won’t even cover my belly!!

Wait… that table MUST have been broken long before I ever sat on it and crashed to the floor, banging my head against the wall on the way down… I’m NOT that big!!