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Santa’s Elf Converts You from Nice to Naughty

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16 December 2011

What? You didn’t expect one of Santa’s Elves to stop by from the North Pole? Well, Santa’s a very busy man and well, things are a little tight this year. You see, there’s many more of you on the Nice List than Santa is able to accommodate this year. So, it’s my job to move more people over to the Naughty List. That includes YOU, my friend.

Oh, you claim you can’t be of service, that your wife would KILL you if you did anything naughty?? Well, she’s out holiday shopping at the moment, and I happen to know that she won’t be back for… well, long enough for what I need to achieve. Now, YOU are going to have sex with me before she gets back.

That’s naughty enough for transferring you in my books, and Santa will be so pleased. Resistance is futile. It’s gonna be a white Christmas!!