"It almost seems unfair that someone should be lucky enough in the gene pool lottery to look like you at the same time as being so brainy."

Your Prim and Proper Mother Struggles to Deliver a Very Important Message

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1 November 2016

Hi, honey… I’m glad we have a moment for… just a quick discussion.  You see… this is very hard for me to… um… talk about.  I… well, I’ve noticed – now that you’re dating – that you seem to prefer… that you choose… well, that you go out with BAD GIRLS, girls with BAD reputations.

Well, you see, that’s not what… well, not at all… I didn’t imagine you’d… honey, I want you to date shy, religious girls.  Yes, I think that’s most appropriate.

For, I just don’t see why you’d even rather… Oh… OH!!!  Honey, I can’t believe you just described that TO YOUR MOTHER!  Oh, oh… oh… my ears are burning!

No, no, okay, okay… well, honey, I think you should only be dating NICE girls, the kind that might… give you… a goodnight kiss… AT MOST.  Do you understand?  And then, if you find yourself… at the end of a date… *stressed* …or something… I can, your mother can, take care of it.  Do you understand?

Would you like me to give you a sample?  …I’m so glad we could make this little deal together…

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