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We’ve Made a Bet and I’m Going to Show You Who’s Boss

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2 September 2011

You know, I’m tired of you not showing me any respect… and always putting up a fight. I need you to realize that I’m part of all of this too… or do we have to decide who should really be boss? You always want to be in charge, but I think we both know who is really able to handle that much responsibility. It’s a privilege, you know, not a prize!

So, let’s make bet. Let’s wage control of this relationship and the household. We’ll have a fight, and whomever wins earns immediate and indisputable rule. What do you say? Up to the challenge? Then get your fists out, ’cause it starts NOW!!

If I’m punching and kicking faster than you… I’ll just laugh at you. If you can be pinned to the ground by a girl, I’ll make sure you always remember how I kicked your ass. And your balls aren’t off limits either. I always knew you were weaker than I am… and so did you.

Oh, and that foot phobia you have? Well, watch for my bare feet aiming at your face… and when I’ve got you down on the ground for good, you’re going to be forced to smell them until you admit who’s worthy of being in charge. Don’t give me any lip; I won’t hesitate to threaten you with more humiliation.

You should’ve learned this lesson a LONG time ago.