Why I Wholeheartedly Love What I Do

Written by Tara Tainton

Saturday, 27 March 2010 15:46

"The Girl Next Door Gone Porn" suits me so well. I'm just that... even if some find it hard to believe. Those who meet me offline and come to know my oddly domestic, tomboyish, introverted, casual, philosophically intrigued, intellectually curious, hard working, and entrepreneurial self are always shocked to discover the finer details of the business I conduct.

Don't they know that all women in the porn industry start out, somewhere along the line, as the girl next door? And we're all "regular folks," just like the next guy... or gal. In fact, I've come to believe that you can measure the quality of our work by just how much we've managed to retain our "girl next door" qualities and personality. We're artists like those working in other mediums... some of us just create art out of the physical image of our entire bodies and the expression of our own minds... just like those actors and actresses on the big mainstream screen.

...which brings me to another note. It still baffles me when a new fan (or an old one) addresses me in correspondence as a sex-crazed, sex-focused, doesn't-have-any-other-hobbies woman. A fan imagines me regularly interviewing male cast members for my videos, solely checking the size of their cocks at the door, or believes I'm sitting around nude all day waiting by the webcam for some stranger to tell me which sex toy to use on myself and what orifice to put it in. No doubt, there are a few women and men doing - and waiting for - just that. At the same time, I just can't get over how the stigma surrounding adult industry workers and any of us who are brave enough to show and share of ourselves fully, inside and out, makes us seem otherworldly, like non-human beings... like we're solely the characters that we portray from time to time on camera. Bad things happen when we humans forget that all the rest of those in the world are humans too, just like us. (Just look at the corporate world I was so eager to leave behind in my dust!) Does any movie-goer or even an obsessed fan watch a scene that an A-list actress appears in and then believe she, herself, continues to play out that character when the camera stops rolling? All I'm sayin' is... YES, we put our real selves into our roles (if we're good and if we care), YES, we're showing an element of our own personality, YES, we have the ability, wherever it may come from, to portray that role, personality, or character quite accurately, but NO, we're not racist because we utter the n-word on film for the sake of art and at the request of our viewing audience who shares our positive view of one another's race, and NO, we're not walking through the grocery store rotating a vibrating rabbit in and out of our pussies, and NO, we're not picking up our mail while dressed in period costume. If an A-list female celeb can play a man-eater on the big screen, threaten to kill with an ice-pick, and later be spotted walking down the sidewalk off-screen and be acknowledged as a person-next-door with a whole array of other personality traits and interests the viewing public may not be aware of... well, why can't I?

So, back on track... I love what I've come to do and share heartwrenchingly openly with the entire world. If I didn't, I wouldn't be doing it. That's the kinda gal I am. And that's why every piece of fan mail or rave review of my videos I receive continues to title me as "the best out there." Sure, there must be other performers who really love what they do, get into it, maybe even run their own show as I do, choose topics, genres, and themes that actually interest them, and care about the quality of the finished product their customers and fans receive. Yet, there aren't too many of them.... for some unknown reason. I guess it's the same old story as the corporate stiff who secretly (or not-so-secretly) hates his 9 to 5 job, but continues to arrive at the office each and every day and put up with his boss and half-human coworkers just for the paper paycheck. Some people like to spend their whole lives doing stuff that doesn't perfectly suit them, inspire them, or make them happy. How they do it, I'll never... well, heck, yeah, I do understand! I was one of them once. Ah, shit, I'm getting off topic again!

I received the most fantastic, respectful, heartfelt, and completely rewarding review of one of my recent works the other day, and I absolutely have to share it. I'd just delivered a custom-order exclusive video (meaning: YOU will never get to see it and it'll never appear in my clips stores as it's for-their-eyes-only) to a new fan. His response was so touching, that it happened to point out exactly why I do what I do, day in and day out. It's the fulfillment I get by expressing myself in this medium or the others I have dabbled in, the self-confidence inspired in knowing I'm putting my true self into every video I produce, the verification that my true self and quality standards are recognized by my viewers, the continuous reaffirmation that doing what makes me happy and which I consider "fun" also spreads happiness and smiles (and consequently, erections as well!) around the world. The girl next door goes porn because she's found something that makes others happy while making herself happy.

tara tainton nude model performing in adult fetish video
Playing Succubus on Camera This Week
(Doesn't get any more fun than that!)

My smiling, happy, erect new fan writes, "That video. Is. So. Great!!!! It is truly a masterpiece of tease - really, a strokable piece of performance art. It's the best schoolgirl tease video I've ever seen and I just feel really fortunate that this happens to be the one that's personalized to me, by name and to my particular tastes.

"You know, I opted when I first jotted down the idea not to weigh you or the video down with too many canned lines or a rigid plot; rather, just to give you a few ideas to run with, and to trust your skills. And that was soooooooooooo the right thing to do. I love how the video flows in a continuous tease, doesn't have a million cuts and edits, and seems like it just poured out of you from beginning to end, naturally. What's really impressive and enjoyable about it is that you hit every single last thing I asked for or said turned me on, while doing it in your own intuitive, hot way. The outfit was even hotter than I envisioned, the baby-talk was even baby-ier than I expected, and the denial theme of it was even more excruciatingly frustratingly frustrating than I saw it playing out (in a good way). In every way it was more and better than I hoped for.

"This is the first custom video I've done that actually came out better than the idea that was in my head when I asked for it. Custom videos are almost always a little disappointing on some level, but I've always figured that is just inherent in the nature of it. As a video customer, you have an idea in your head that turns you on and seems simple enough, but I guess is really the product of a whole sexual narrative in your brain that you don't even really understand yourself, but which just excites you. Then you boil it down to a couple of paragraphs about superficial things like words and outfits and ask someone who doesn't know you at all to read your mind, work backwards from the words or other props to divine what you're really seeking, act it out, and make it hot. I've figured if you get 50-60 % of what you asked for - or put another way, if half of the video is watchable - it's a success.

"But now I'm thinking maybe I was all wrong about that and it's just that the models weren't very good, because every minute of your video is fantastic and, apparently, it IS possible for someone to understand what you crave from a couple of paragraphs, and bring it alive in an exciting way. You are very intuitive and creative; it really comes through.

"If I had to delete every single thing off my hard drive and could keep exactly one video or pic, this would be the one I would choose. Thanks so much for making this video for me. I do believe you have a rare and special talent."

Thank YOU, my fans and friends, for making this work so incredibly fulfilling, rewarding, and fully enjoyable. Thank you for extending me the opportunity to bring your fantasies to life, to make your dreams a reality, and put a smile on your face in just the way that you most prefer. Thank you for trusting me, for opening up in order to share your very individual and so specific, intimate preferences, for sharing your own true self so that the two of us can connect on a very human level and be just a bit happier in this crazy, fast-paced world.

Love you all!!