What Role Playing Can Do for Your Sex Life

Written by Tara Tainton

Saturday, 09 July 2005 23:00

I can't help it. Role playing makes me HOT! Maybe it's due to my overactive writer's imagination, my need for variety, or some secret desire to have an acting career. Maybe it's none of those, and the affinity is just another manifestation of my inner exhibitionist.

I can't understand why more couples and other lustful groupings of individuals don't partake in playing roles in their sexual encounters. Maybe you see yourself as shy or an introvert, you don't know how to approach your lover with the topic, or you can't imagine yourself in some silly costume. Maybe you can't see yourself as acting out the part of anyone but yourself or conceptualize the reason why anyone would desire to play imaginary games during sex. Still, you have to admit that sex is play, and play is closely tied to the imagination and that sense of wonder, escape, or fantasizing that first developed in our childhood and never truly leaves.

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Without play in sex, where's the fun? So, let's dream for a bit..

Think of your wildest fantasies, even back to the days of your childhood and early sexually explorative years. Did you dream of a sexy older vixen dominating you and telling you exactly what to do to her body? Did you dream of whipping that pool boy into shape and stripping him of that lackadaisical attitude? And I bet we all loved playing "house" and "doctor" for many more reasons than we'd ever admit to our playmates or our parents at the time.

The fact is that role playing not only "spices" up your sex life but provides a sexual education that you can't gain any other way. By dreaming up new "games" to play and scenes to act out, you're discovering your own likes and dislikes, new and old. You also have that highly valuable opportunity to learn more about your partner's own interests, the chance to accept them and be the lover who finally enable him or her to carry them out in real life.

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When you crave variety like I do, role playing allows you to feel like a different person in your play. And that usually comes with what feels like a different partner as well. Sex never has to get old or predictable if you're actively using your imaginations and trying on new characters. And if you're an intellectual like me, your mental meanderings play a huge part in the level of your sexual desire. Yes, I can certainly use that opportunity to forget my own issues or hesitations and just let that inner slut loose!

In pretending to be someone else, you become a new self. You permit yourself to use new language, mannerisms, and techniques. You suddenly have the courage to probe with that new toy because your character would. You find that the words "yes, master" or "bend over and show me your cunt, you slut bitch." And who wouldn't consider that fun?

I've tried it. I like it. I'm infatuated with sexual role play. I've carried out a few of my favorite fantasies, and my partner's surprised me with very creative scenarios of his own. At times, we've had the absolute most fun when we've begun to play together, only to unintentionally slip into roles when one partner's words trigger a character in our minds and we reply with an appropriate and provocative response.

There's not telling where you're headed when you let your imagination run wild. Costumes and props aren't even necessary.