The Vacuum Cleaner Vibrator

Written by Tara Tainton

Sunday, 20 May 2007 23:00

Men have been doing it for generations. And women may have been as well, but none of them clued me in. We'll never stop trying to find new ways to get our rocks off. It's an eternal quest ingrained in the human race in our very DNA. We want more of it and in new and different ways. And we always want it RIGHT NOW.

And just last night, my live-in lover gave me the run-down. "Oh, yeah. I've stuck my cock in a vacuum cleaner nozzle before. We all did it when we were about 10." Okay, so I missed out, I guess. While the boys were "being boys," I was... well, sex and that thing between my legs I was told to clean carefully while in the bath were far from my mind. And I have to say, I never even though to use that non-assuming vacuum cleaner and tedious tool of my sexist, assigned household chores for my personal pleasure.

Maybe it just seemed to scary, maybe even dangerous, to be coupled with human skin. And dirty and dusty too. But not for you BOYS apparently!

"It felt good, I guess," my lover continued to fill me in with. "But it wasn't good enough to get me off." Ah, but that was then, and this is... the year 2007! Don't you just adore technological advancement and what its done for our sex lives?!

With this brand-new, patent pending toy introduced to the market, LoveHoney is the first to snatch it up (I wrote "snatch!") and offer it to all of us. It's what some of you have been waiting for and some of us (namely, me) have never even considered, let alone thought was possible: a safe, specifically designed, clean, colorful, and sexually stimulating attachment for the vacuum cleaner. And you know I'm going to have to try it.

Yes, it's actually here! That mysterious flow of air you used to experiment with as a kid can now be channeled to give you adult pleasure.

Check out the Vortex Vibrations Suction Vacuum Cleaner Vibrator. It's cool, it's devious, it's lavender. I guess that means you won't confuse it with any old or new and snazzy looking vacuum cleaner you may have lying around the house. Thank goodness.

vortex vacuum cleaner vibrator
Vortex Vibrations Suction Vacuum Cleaner Vibrator

And what I love most about this new possibility presented in a toy... besides that it helps turn a mundane and very non-sexual household machine into something very, very naughty that our mothers would never approve of... is just that: all the possibility it offers. Just let your mind wander to all the variations of play and experimenting you can do the vacuum cleaner vibrator. Holy cow.

Oh, and you know the folks at LoveHoney are gaining fame for their innovative and endlessly fun Sex Toys TV online. So, yes, that means there's a new video showing off the awesome new vacuum cleaner vibrator. Watch the Professor demonstrate how to achieve bigger, longer, better orgasms with this devious new toy. Really!

vortex vacuum cleaner vibrator

Vortex Vibrations' creation is marketed as a "clitoral stimulator," but we all know that means it can stimulate anything and everything. So, get to it. Make the air work for you.