Tara Tainton

Johnny's granted me permission to republish his intriguing article here to share with all of you. Don't miss out on reading Beyond the Neon yourself where you'll find intelligent writing, startling honesty, and perspectives that'll make you either laugh or cry aloud. It's a damn good read, and Johnny's a pretty friendly guy. Stop over, and say "hello."

Number 10: Brandi's, Vancouver, Canada
Type: Nude

When Hollywood heads north to make movies, Brandi's is the de rigueur joint for nighttime fun. It is, in fact, where Ben Affleck was spotted, kicking off his relationship woes with J.Lo. The women of Brandi's love their craft and really flaunt it. They do several songs per set before walking around and offering private shows, and are even known to chat you up without pressuring you to pay. The best part: neck and shoulder massages offered by naked women.

Number 9: Colibri, Hamburg, Germany
Type: Nude and live sex

The St. Pauli district of Hamburg can be described as the Las Vegas of sex, with strip joints and peep shows as loud, bright and gaudy as those in America's gambling capital. Colibri is a gentlemen's club, but of the Hamburg variety, which means that offering naked women isn't enough. But the live sex shows have as much finesse and good taste as live sex shows can . One act features the Changing of the Guard at Buckingham Palace, wherein a young maiden tempts a famously reticent English guard into passionate lovemaking. And they do it to classical music.

Number 8: Chez Pare, Montreal, Canada
Type: Nude

Visitors to the great white north know that Montreal is the single best North American destination for adult entertainment. With an ethnically diverse population and large university contingent, the women of Montreal are stunningly beautiful, and liberal in attitude. Chez Paree is dubbed "Montreal most elegant gentlemen's club," offering the hottest women who will dance at your table or perform girl-on-girl shows for reasonable prices. Even the VIP room is a bargain, at least by strip club standards. However, this is not a Montreal "contact" club, so keep your hands to yourself.

Number 7: Dolls, Moscow, Russia
Type: Topless

Russia's business elite (and even foreign business types and celebrities) have come to depend on Dolls for high-class adult entertainment. Dolls -- Moscow's first strip club -- breaks every mold of the strip club genre with its elegance and excellence. You can dine in style with the best view of Russian women, whose beauty is the stuff of legends. The shows are carefully rehearsed and uniquely spectacular, but there's a reason only the very rich come here. Be ready to see your bank account thin out after a night here.

Number 6: Goldfingers, Melbourne, Australia
Type: Nude

Goldfingers is a complete bar that includes a restaurant, poolroom, cigar lounge, and four separate areas where Australia's sexiest women show what they're made of (depending on how up-close and personal you want to get). Distinguished men doing business down under -- that is, in Australia -- and distinguished locals alike hold group functions at Goldfingers, as evidenced by the refined garb of the patrons.

Number 5: Scores, New York, New York
Type: Topless

Number 4: Blue Rose, Ibiza, Spain
Type: Nude

If Ibiza is the epicenter of hedonism, then Blue Rose is its crowning jewel. Like much of the island itself, the shows at the Rose take it up a notch, with lots of girl-on-girl action and simulated sex acts -- it sometimes gets messy when whipped cream and champagne get involved. Unique to the Rose is the level of interaction between stage dancers and the audience, but it's always respectful. Of course, lap dances are offered, and always by girls who love what they do.

Number 3: Crazy Horse, Paris, France
Type: Nude cabaret

Forget the Moulin Rouge. The gentlemen's cabaret with a naughty French twist is only found at the fabled Crazy Horse. All seats are facing the main stage, where intricate nude shows stretch every definition of entertainment. Gorgeous women bathe for the audience, frolic to songs, and use their bodies as canvases for light and laser acts. Always renewing itself, the Crazy Horse highlights the naked female not only as something to be admired, but also as something artistic.

Number 2: Seventh Heaven, Tokyo, Japan
Type: Topless

Tokyo's most successful gentlemen's club features mostly European and American dancers, who win over clients thanks to their friendliness; they sit and chat with customers without pressuring them to buy drinks or pay for private dances. If you do get a personal show, you'll surely notice the club's rather lax no-touching rule (some girls will take your hands and make you touch them). However, like most of Tokyo, a full night out can get very expensive.

Number 1: Crazy Horse Too, Las Vegas, Nevada
Type: Topless

An offshoot of the Parisian original, Crazy Horse Too sets the standard for gentlemen's clubs in Sin City. In fact, it's where legendary porn star Jenna Jameson learned the ropes (or, shall I say, poles?). Both natural and enhanced women do their thing on two stages and there's a spillover area for packed nights. A VIP room will ensure that you get more personal attention -- three songs worth. If you go on a good night, tip well and treat your dancer politely -- you might be rewarded with a more "special" lap dance.

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Anonymous | 2009-12-05 17:12 michael g.b. 05/06/2006 04:31 AM well . . . it was interesting seeing "how the other half lives" . . . ha! . . . reading these descriptions of "the best" of the "strip clubs" around the world reminds me of just how much more to "life" exists . . . however, i've not ever even been to visit "the least best" of the strip clubs . . . ha! . . . so i AM a deprived individual afterall . . . so sad . . . (of course not sad for the girls in the clubs who aren't even aware that i'm "not there" - ha!) but who knows . . . one day i may have the honor of experiencing the aesthetic visual artistry of one of these "living galleries of female allure" . . . and i'm sure it will be "life transforming" for me. :) Tara, your Experiential WebMistress 05/06/2006 03:24 PM Ah, Michael, that's such a shame! Though, the "live gallery" isn't for everyone and I wouldn't say you're missing anything you really NEED. :) Just another interesting experience to add to the list that grows throughout your life. :) Now, I need to check out the Crazy Horse Too that's right here in my own town! Backdoor Slider 05/07/2006 11:13 PM heh good post. I have actually been to 3 of those place. Brandi's, Scores, and the Blue Rose Tara, your Nudity Loving WebMistress 05/10/2006 12:37 AM And I've been to NONE of them! I can't wait to at least check out the local, Las Vegas recommendation. Of course, I have to hit up those strip clubs that offer women and men to watch first...... :)

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