Tara Tainton

That's why we turn to outside sources, wiley resources daring to pry into mens' minds to uncover the truth, once and for all. This time, our friends in England are braving the topic and disclosing what men really want. Thanks to Haron and Abel, the red-bottomed duo behind The Spanking Writers blog, I was turned onto (and by) a recent article published by London's The Sunday Times. Okay, so even Cosmo can come up with a top 50 list of male-centric items in five minutes without any thought. What caught my eye about the contents of "What Men Really Want," is that there actually is real thought behind it.

Helen McNutt has done her research... or maybe she was born with the knowledge considering her surname... Regardless, she's got it figured out: "When trying to work out what makes men tick, it’s important to understand that what men really want is different from what women want them to want." And she knows that when men are "being really honest, they'll admit to rather liking being cooked and cleaned for — preferably by a woman with fantastic breasts."

The Spanking Writers pointed out one of my favorite items from the article's in-depth list of what men want.

#38: Every now and then to be able to proudly and rightfully accuse his woman of being a pervert.

I know that would shock, even offend, some women, but it's absolutely true. I can't count how many times my own male lovers and friends have directly or indirectly verified this one desire. And I don't think I've seen this deeply rooted and very certain desire of men revealed in any other description of what they want from a lover. Read on, open your eyes, take notes, and plan a surprise for your own male lover that makes him absolutely thrilled you've finally got him all figured out... Just be ready to handle any other desires he feels ready to divulge as a result.

3 To sit next to a bored, horny Angelina lookalike on a transatlantic flight.

14 To be the funniest, sexiest, richest man in the room — to be referred to as a “naughty boy” by the women in his office, a “top bloke” by the men and a “gentleman” by elderly female relatives.

17 Peace and quiet — when he answers that he’s not thinking about anything, he’s probably not: no deeper answers need wheedling out. Also, respect for his need for time alone every day.

20 To know what she wants — making his woman happy is one of his primary aims. She needs to let go of the assumption that he can mind-read and get specific about what she wants in a non-demanding way. Crucially, to let him know that she thinks he’s more than capable of providing her with it.

21 To be proud of his woman — it doesn’t matter whether it’s bringing up his kids or being the first woman in Europe to hold the job she does, he wants to boast about her.

24 His mates to fancy her.

27 Not to have a shouty girlfriend — that’s right, take a deep breath and count to 10... because men really hate being shouted at. Plus, if she does it all the time, her yelling will have lost its impact for those times when it really is justified.

28 For his woman to look good — he doesn’t expect a supermodel, but he wants her to make the best of herself and make an effort for him. Nothing makes a man feel more mis-sold than a woman who lets herself go.

29 For her to occasionally dress to please him — it could be the Christmas outfit he bought her or simply her sluttiest stilettos. Men love playing stylist when they get to have a woman looking like they’ve always wanted.

31 To have his woman slow things down against his will — the perception that all men want is harder, faster is a myth. Men want suspense and skill just as much as women do.

32 To be the best lover she’s ever had.

33 To be touched unexpectedly — whether it’s a slap across his bottom as he walks out the door or a peck on the cheek while he’s reading, he needs to know his woman fancies him.

34 For her to act out one of his fantasises — without him asking.

36 Authenticity — for her not to pretend that she’s cool with just sex if really she’s after a relationship. And for her never to fake it.

37 To be reassured that technique matters more than size — and to be told in a positive, nonpatronising way exactly what that technique is.

39 To be hit with every sexual cliché in the book. This includes going out without underwear, turning up at his house in nothing more than stockings, suspenders and trench coat, raunchy text messages and depraved invitations whispered in crowded places.

40 To be kidnapped in his lunch hour, accompanied to the nearest hotel, taken full advantage of and returned in time for his afternoon accounts meeting.

41 The primary activity of a minibreak to be sex not sightseeing.

42 Female friends he sleeps with not to get weird afterwards. To him it was probably just sex, and he doesn’t need a chat about where it is going. She just needs to refer to it jokingly once, then forget about it. NB The joking reference should have nothing to do with his manhood.

48 Not to be expected to notice the details. Supersubtle highlights, weight losses in increments of less than five pounds, new cushion covers . . . to him they’re irrelevant.

49 For his woman to be grateful for the flowers he bought — even if they’re screaming “garage forecourt”. Likewise, if he ever writes her a poem, she shouldn’t, under any circumstances, laugh.

For the complete list, view the full article online.

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Anonymous | 2009-12-23 10:27 Vasper Janik 10/06/2006 03:33 PM Yeah, we guys are similar to women in that we want it ALL! We want it in 100 different flavors and we want it now! Men and Women are more alike than the self help books would have us believe. We want what women want but in a manly way. I agree with most of those on the list and especially number 32. I have had that and it keeps you on cloud nine for a week or more! Tara, your WebMistress on Cloud 9 10/06/2006 04:57 PM Right you are, Vasper! I despise the extensive stereotyping regarding the sexes, especially when those self-help books refer to the sexes being practically from different planets, etc. We're not, obviously, and communication between us is just a matter of really listening, honestly sharing, and being able to accept the truth. :) We women want it all, why not accept when our men do as well? Linda Smith 10/08/2006 08:01 PM I think men just want to be listened to, without being made to feel like idiots or jerks! A lot like us women! Thanks so much for that enlightening article. I wonder if I will ever be that kind of woman? I find it hard to believe that most guys really just want to please their woman--maybe because I've only fallen in love with jerks thus far. Anyway, I'd love to have a great man. I can't will for my desires for love and sex to go away. Where do I get the idea that a woman isn't supposed to want or need a man or romantic love or sex, I don't know. I'd rather not stay angry at men or myself. I love great sex! I love lovemaking. I think I'm incurably sexual. Whether the world likes it or not. People who minimize the importance of great sex, irritate me! (Rarely if ever do I hear MEN minimize the importance of wonderful, passionate, hot lovemaking!!) Tara, your Proud WebMistress 10/08/2006 09:21 PM And that's exactly the attitude that should be spread around this world a lot more, Linda. :) Keep sharing that women are sexual, sex is positive, and men and women alike deserve to have their...

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3.23 Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved."