Tara Tainton

There, merely inches before me, kneeling at my feet, and separated from me only by my bedroom window was a Peeping Tom, my first experience of the sort, all up close, very personal, and right in front of my face. What a way to be welcomed to my new apartment!

It's true. Just the night before last, only the third night in my new apartment, I suddenly found myself on exhibit unknowingly, unexpectedly, and unwontedly. It's not the same feeling or experience as willingly practicing exhibitionism or inviting sexual voyeurs to enjoy a sight created just for them. And it's not actually the being spied upon that made me feel so uneasy in that moment and a long time afterwards. It was the proximity of my predator.

I do have an inner exhibitionist who loves to come out to play and very frequently. I love to indulge her, create new experiences for her, and give her plenty of exercise. Beyond moments when I desire privacy, I enjoy being watched. When I invite it, it even turns me on. I willingly and knowingly invite my fellow sexual voyeurs into my own home, my bedroom, and my life through the camera lens.

And that's just it. I'm a sexual voyeur as well. I like to watch, to see others do what they love to do, to imagine feeling what a pair of lovers feel as they play together. I like to watch porn, I love to browse my favorite blogs for half-nekkid glimpses of their blogger authors on Thursdays, and I certainly take note of a beautiful woman showing off her body as she walks down the sidewalk or someone who passes by an open window in their own home without concern for their own half-nakedness.

And I do the same. It's natural, it's healthy, it's great for our fantasy lives and developing more creativity in our sexual lives and even exercising desires without actually interacting with those we're peering at.

I don't mind the voyeur within the man I caught peering at me. I would never hold his curiosity or sexual appetite against him. But I'm angry at him for going beyond the common sense and respectful limitations of the relationship of the voyeur and the viewed in that moment.

I'd spent the last few days barely dressed due to the extreme temperature in my new apartment, minus air conditioning, as I worked to put my home back together. Very late on that night in particular, I'd taken a cooling shower, remained completely nude, and walked around my second story apartment with the windows open and blinds turned to let in the barest breeze available... and consequently, offering the slightest view of myself inside the apartment if passersby were a large distance away across the common area outside. I put away some things in the kitchen, even climbed on top of the counters to pack away more things above the cabinets, all in the nude.

And when I was ready to go to bed, I walked into the bedroom to move a bedside table, returned to the living room to grab the one fan I'd just purchased to make sleeping a bit more bearable, and carried it into the bedroom to sit on top of the table right in front of the single bedroom window. I walked over to plug it in, walked back to the table to adjust it, and when I turned to leave the bedroom, that's when I saw his face staring back at me and my completely nude body.

The blinds at the bedroom window were completely closed, I hadn't yet put up curtains, and the only way anyone could see in is if they were right outside and peered in at a very odd angle to look up and into the room.

My New Bedroom Window...
and a Perfect Perch for a Grown Man Begging for a Good View

The bedroom window is the only window on ground level... on level with the second floor that's right in front of my front door, that is. It's only accessible once you walk up a long flight of stairs leading only to a small, narrow corridor with my front door and bedroom window on the right and my neighbors' door and bedroom window on the left. The man peering back at me through my bedroom window, perched only a mere foot away from me, was actually kneeling at the sill of my window, right in front of my front door, in order to get a good look... the only available view into my bedroom.

That is how I felt violated. That's why I got a horrible feeling suddenly in the pit of my stomach. I wasn't being casually watched by someone catching an accidental glance up at me as I walked inside the safety of my own apartment a floor above them. This voyeur was actually on my own property, within reach of my front door, actually hanging onto the sill of my window with both hands... a grown man squatting and venturing out of his way and within my own personal space to obtain his sexual pleasure.

I froze when my eyes first caught his. I noticed his shaved head, round pale face, wide and piercing eyes, goatee, grasping fingers, kneeling form, and pierced ears and tattoos all in a second. I managed a desperate "sweeeeeetie...." in a weird tone, hoping to wake my lover lying on the living room couch, and scooted out of the voyeur's view. I reached for a light switch, my first impulse was to run to the front door to peer through the peep hole and see which direction the Peeping Tom left in so that I might know who he was or where he lived. There is no light switch within reach there, and I froze in that spot as my lover slowly walked to me and I whispered in his ear what had just happened. He immediately went to the front door and found no one there.

I can even call the whole incident a bit amusing now, another unique experience, and I'm no longer as frightened as I have curtains on my bedroom now, all the blinds in the apartment closed after dark now that the air conditioning has been repaired, and I know the front door is always locked. But I'm still disappointed in a way about a stranger taking voyeurism in the wrong direction, about his choosing to overstep the known boundaries, and his contributing to the negative stereotype of sexual voyeurism itself.

I still don't know who the Peeping Tom is or if he actually lives near me. I've only met one of the 2-3 boys that live next door on this same floor with me, and he doesn't fit the description. Only retelling the experience to a female in the office staff for the apartment complex confirmed my own realization. There's a neighbor living downstairs in my same building that perfectly fits my description of my sexual predator... but I can't say that he actually is the same man.

I haven't figured out how to approach him or what to say when I do. All I can come up with is "are you the man that was perving on me through my bedroom window the other night? You should at least introduce yourself."

*Blog excerpt image courtesy of My Self-Defense Blog

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Osbasso   | 2008-07-24 21:48 You had me worried a bit with the description--shaved head, goatee, round pale face. Good thing I don't have any tattoos! This sort of thing is just disgusting. As you said, there's a vast difference between what you do on purpose, and what he was doing. Or even between that quick accidental glance and his perving. I hope that when you do meet, you should whip out your boobs, shake them in his face, and ask if he's had enough!

Tara, your Perved On WebMistress  - Thank you, Os! | 2008-07-25 11:01 Thank you so much for reading this and offering your perspective, Os. I'm glad to find you understand and feel what I am... this voyeur went too far. And I like your suggestion for approaching him and handling it all with some straightforwardness and a bit of humor! :) xoxo

Curvaceous Dee   | 2008-07-25 18:22 Creepy! *hugs* I'm glad your partner was there ... xx Dee

michael g.b. | 2008-07-27 07:08 Tara . . "peeping" isn't the real problem or issue . . . the times in which we live present concerns and worries that surpass "peeping" . . . one has safety concerns about peepers who eventually enter and are up to no good intent . . . there are "life" issues . . . but . . one thing we all know for true: that peeper sure got a great show! . . . he saw 'the best of the best" and will never see anyone or anything as amazingly sexy as TARA! :)

The Fury   | 2008-07-27 22:12 This is just not cool. Might I suggest you install a motion detector lamp outside that door/window. There's voyeur and then there's straight predator. This is the second. I'm happy the lover was around.

Tara, your Still Concerned WebMistress  - Thank you for your support! | 2008-07-28 18:07 Thank you for the hugs, Curvaceous! I could use them. :) I'm definitely keeping a close eye on my windows, front door, and general environment still now, Michael. I've even spotted a second neighbor with the same look! I think the second may be the culprit... I can't help but frown at him but I don't want to confront him if he's not the one. :( Good ideas, Fury, and I'm so glad you're there for me when there are serious issues on top of the fun and frivolous. :) I'll look into the cost of motion detectors... even one of those little animal status you can stand outside the door that will bark or something when a visitor is detected! : ) Hope that thing doesn't start barking and keeping me up all night.....

Vasper Janik | 2008-08-02 10:00 I knew I should have just rang the bell.....

Vixen   | 2008-08-02 18:09 I'd suggest getting a shotgun. The sound of loading a shotgun is widely recognized and would probably scare him away for good.

havingmycake   | 2008-08-04 15:13 Thank goodness you were not alone in the house. That would have scared the crap out of me! And it must affect your sense of security in your new home. What a horrible pest. Just hope the culprit has decided it was a one-off since he got caught out. Stay safe x

Lucy  - oversteeping the mark   | 2008-08-05 20:09 This totally overstepped the boundary of voyeur and having a casual look! I have to say, I would be scared shitless if this happened to me...lucky you had someone in the house with you. As for the motion detectors, I think that's a good idea. However, those animal ones that bark or whatever, just be warned that if he were to try it again and you had one of these, there's nothing stopping him removing it..hence no noise when he approaches. Yes, you'd know when you left the house and didn't see it at your front door, but the proper ones would be much better, I think. Stay safe. Lucy

Tara, your Peeped WebMistress | 2008-08-10 19:47 Wow, great idea, Vixen! But guns scare me. :( I grew up with a few dozen in the house, but I don't want to touch one! Having My Cake, I still look out of the front door peephole expecting to see that guy there. :( I need to get a motion detector, Lucy! Thanks so much for your input. I think it's a great idea too. :)

Annareta | 2008-10-16 04:14 I have expiriencs like that I stiil remember it. I am stiil skared a lot

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