Tara Tainton

It all started with a dream, another lovely, casual, arousing dream reflecting that I am more at peace these days, more relaxed, more content. No more problem solving in the middle of the night, I'm enjoying a stream of sweet, sizzling, erotic dreams awakening my own desire.

I'm taking better care of me again finally. And that makes me feel more sexual. Yes, I feel hot! I'm smokin' these days, and I'm dying to take some serious advantage of it.

My mind's wandering towards lovely thoughts of mere possibilities. I have this renewed desire to just flirt. You know, that delicious face-to-face, sensual play. That highly tense, sexually frustrating, and libido-peaking, non-verbal exchange. I crave the obvious eye contact between strangers attracted to one another. I love the glances swapped, the licking of the lips, the playing with the hair, that new awareness of your physical body (especially, for women, your own breasts and nipples suddenly!) when the first thought of sex crosses your mind in regards to someone new.

And don't get me started on the steps and stages to follow... or I may never resurface once I dip into that erotic pool of possibilities! There's sitting next to an attractive stranger, a little closer than casual friends would happen to, and you can feel the temperature of the air between you begin to rise, almost burning your skin. There are the purposeful "accidental" touches or nudges, even daring to rest a hand on the other's arm, hand, or thigh. Quick glances at intimate places on one another's bodies, and that mysterious moment that happens verbally or non that breaks the barrier and permits actual sexual contact to take place... a kiss, brushing of the other's hair, a caress on the skin, pulling the other closer so that certain parts of your bodies are perfectly aligned.

Yes, I crave moments of feeling that energy of flirting more subtly with my live-in lover. So much time together filled with blatant comments, gropes, and embraces leaves a wanting for something more unexpected or just slow. But I definitely look forward to the very different energy and excitement of exchanging sexually charged moments with someone completely new.

It was my dream, just the other night, that made me realize all the sexual possibilities facing me right now. A bit of travel's on the agenda, a much needed girls-only trip, and this dream opened up my mind to an entirely new array of potential experiences.

Do our dreams reflect our own thoughts or what our subconscious is telling us we should be thinking about??

In my dream, I was traveling again, completely on my own in Eastern Europe. I was walking down a bustling street in an old town on a warm, sunny afternoon. Taking it all in was my only intention for the moment, just to observe, absorb, and enjoy. I blended in among the locals beautifully, even a middle-aged woman asking my opinion about something in English was surprised when I confessed I couldn't give the perspective she was looking for because I'm American. I smiled when she scoffed at my obvious accent and walked away to poll someone else, and I ventured into a busy pub for a long lunch. I sat at wooden table and bench alone and took everything in.

And I thought to myself as someone in particular caught my eye, "what a cute Slovakian boy." Yes, I was in Slovakia of all places, a country I know nothing about and have yet to visit. But the man across the room definitely held my attention, and he didn't take his eyes off of me either. He had longer, sandy colored hair, all beautifully tousled.. .giving me the impression that he'd be just as straightforward, casual, and honestly himself in everything. And I was already thinking about everything my seeing him could lead to.

There I was, on a trip away from home, far away from my live-in lover, and completely free. Free to explore, enjoy the world, and taste all of its pleasures. I suddenly realized, there in my dream and in my conscious mind as well, "I can do anything I want with anyone I want. I can actually take advantage of every possibility that traveling brings." And everything changed.

The stranger's twinkling eyes stood out to me all the more and so did his very friendly and inviting smile. You could read the thoughts of sex behind his eyes. Of course, I wore the added appeal of the exotic foreigner in his land, and I intended to make every use of it. I was already plotting how to get him alone, wondering how much effort would be mine or initiated by him.

It all happened so fast. I don't know if he pulled me around a corner after just a bit of conversation or if I was the aggressor. We pressed our bodies together against a cold, stone wall, smiled our acknowledgment mischievously, and kissed. He had the most perfect, pink, pouty lips, tan skin, and such a fun-loving aura about him.

And I woke up realizing the full potential of the situation before me. I'm going to be far away from my Las Vegas home soon, meeting up with my sweet and adventurous girl friend and former travel mate somewhere in North America that we've never been, and enjoying a freedom that I've worked hard to achieve in my life and relationships, that I'm so grateful to my partner for granting along with granting himself to me.

And sex (especially in case my live-in lover's reading this) isn't why I want to travel or take a solo trip. Sex in all of its forms and subtleties is just part of it, as it's a natural and always-present part of life itself. And I somehow forgot that element of travel, especially of just being out in the world and being wholly myself.

It's not about seeking sex or human interaction; it's all about being aware of it existing all around and in every moment. That's where the thrill lies... in knowing that the world is full of possibilities.

My live-in lover and I have addressed and adjusted the agreement of our relationship throughout its entirety. I'm fully aware and confident about the current status... but I thought of returning home after my trip, maybe with something intimate to tell, and fearing my partner would somehow not remember just how much freedom I've been granted. That's completely my own fear, of course, my own vision of the worst possible outcome, despite feeling completely comfortable with who I am and what I've confirmed as a part of my life and lifestyle. I worry for him.

And I've learned my partner's more comfortable with the arrangement, taking advantage of it, and being aware of it, then discussing it when there hasn't been an actual incident to be discussed. He's not like me... brutally honest, always more than willing to discuss anything, anytime, anywhere, with anyone... and maybe over-addressing or repeating themes when not necessary.

I wanted to spare him the same; but after waking from that dream and realizing what could occur on my future trip, I also wanted confirmation that he'll be ready to hear about my possible interaction with someone else, if he asks, when I return.

Somehow, I spilled out a simple and casual "you remember the rules of our relationship, right? Where everything stands?" He nodded and offered a firm "yes" without looking up from what he was doing.

And I left it at that.

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Tara and Her Fans & Friends | 2008-07-27 14:24 exile 07/30/2007 11:22 PM the best fantasies are the ones that you know will come true Tara, your Curious WebMIstress 07/31/2007 07:13 AM Only time will tell, Exile. And you know I will tell. ;) The Fury 07/31/2007 05:41 PM The rush of flirting towards that first encounter is unmatched. I have one or two fantasies I'm itching to break the seams on... Tara, your Anxious WebMistress 08/01/2007 01:17 AM And my own were followed up by another fantastic dream last night... ah, to actually live those moments! ;)

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3.23 Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved."