Fashion Advice Anyone - Tara Tainton

Fashion Advice, Anyone?

Written by Tara Tainton

Friday, 16 October 2009 18:22

Fashion: I don't know a thing about it. Never cared about it and was never brought up to take notice of it or equate "good looking" with "trends" or "name brand." Long story, short: I have no real style all my own. I now want to discover mine. This last year, I finally took notice of shoes, finally wanted to express myself outwardly through clothing, and I've finally wanted to explore those last few vestiges of womanhood.

Believe it or not, this porn star is a tomboy. Yup. I was a toddler making mud pies in my overalls on my grandpa's farm. It's true! Those of you who I haven't had the pleasure of meeting in person may find it nearly impossible to believe that I'm usually barefoot wearing short skirts and tank tops. No high heels, no lipstick, not even a purse to speak of. I think that leather thing I bought from a local vendor in the country of Panama on a high school lunch break is more like a wallet. Yes, it's all I've been carrying around for.... decades. My earlobes have never been pierced; I've never worn earrings hanging from my ears. I don't know when I last wore a bracelet or donned a ring just for decoration. I didn't even wear makeup until a little over a year ago. I had to buy some books on Amazon to learn how! Convinced yet??

I have started to collect shoes... the first symbol of womanhood I mysteriously developed an urge to decorate my female form with. It happened about the same time I decided to try makeup... the same time I first set a camera before myself, naked to the world, and grew a brand new appreciation for womanhood itself. I wanted to lavish in it, express my own femininity, take advantage of my genetic blessings, and display my sexual adventurousness and new-found confidence on the outside. And through my video fun, I've received countless messages from male fans submitting their detailed fantasies and video requests reiterating exactly what the male gender believes exemplifies womanhood itself. I want to enjoy all of that along with them.

So, what to do as a woman in her mid-30s finally embracing her own gender, even wanting to flaunt it a bit? Well, I do seem to do okay on video... you have told me just what looks good on me, or any woman, what you love to see, what turns you on, and just what you find my best assets to be. Immensely informative, thank you! I also have my darling best friend and brother who's always ready with an honest opinion: "tube tops look horrible on women, so do empire waistlines, so do denim skirts, so do clothes that hide your shape, etc. etc." As my video catalog has grown, so has my wardrobe. I've picked up specific kinds of shoes, new lingerie, and sexy costumes specifically for on-camera work while also picking up my very first desire to "dress up." I've bought dresses, blouses, stockings... Meanwhile, I think there's nothing like a great pair of comfy jeans, a strappy tank top, or just a bikini top. And I'll always be drawn to heavy boots, baggy cargo pants, and a tight, tough-girl t-shirt. I'm a military brat after all. I even know how to correctly march in those boots...

I'm attracted to specific items of clothing, but still have no real sense of "my style." I think I'm finding it though... when I returned to the states a few years ago, I had an inclination to wear nothing but worded t-shirts (thus, Tara's Naughty Shop was born) and corset tops. Perhaps, my style will always suit two extremes individually: terribly casual and prepared to climb a tree at the slightest inclination and also conspicuously sexual, sensual, and erotic in treasuring my own femininity I'm only now beginning to value. How in the world do you combine those two extremes?

Am I pulling off being myself? That can be more complicated than you might guess for some of us. Is my outer dress accurately expressing my inner self? Am I succeeding in showing how fun, silly, adventurous, open-minded, enthusiastic, and newly confident I am? I thought it might be nice to ask you, the folks that have been following along with my latest years' adventures while being privy to a gazillion photos and videos I appear in. I have another thing to ask you as well...

Recently, my brother, whom I share everything with, used me to help stir up some conversation with a new online acquaintance of the feminine persuasion. He shared with the stranger a couple of recent casual photos of me (fully clothed, of course!) as well as the fact that I'm currently in the process of seeking out my own personal fashion style while being faced with learning the finer points of womanhood. The female online acquaintance returned a load of advice/judgments to bestow upon me. And I've had quite a few good chuckles upon reading her words of fashion wisdom.

First and foremost, she wrote, "Wow, she's really gorgeous, but she needs to put the goods away! You can be totally sexy without showing it all off at once." I was taken aback. I know what overexposure is when I see it... and when I'm purposely participating in it on camera... and I definitely don't find my personal focus is on showing off my tits. After all, they're just impossible to hide. "Don't listen to her," my brother voiced. "That's what women always say about other women, but no man will ever tell you that." I tend to agree. So, I was curious what you think. Male fans and friends, would you ever believe that a woman is revealing too much of her bosom? Be serious now. I know that line about being able to be sexy without baring all, but that's what you warn the folks who are actually doing it to try to attract attention. If I wanted to do that... well, you know I'm capable of really throwing it all out there.

Then again, this anonymous woman didn't mention "breasts." Maybe she meant my legs. Am I not permitted to show those either? Or was it toes with colorful nail polish... are those my "goods?" Is it my ass? Should I flatten it or wear a big bushy dress to hide it? Maybe my goods, heaven forbid, are my face. Then what? How do you hide that?

Of course, the real question is: "why should anyone hide a damn thing about themselves?"

I next received, from my unnamed female judge, this advice: "Also, girlfriend is 34, and you can totally tell she's still shopping in the junior's department. Yes the woman's department can be scary and it's not all flashy like our younger counterparts, but you can find great pieces there that work and flatter the body." Seriously? Is she trying to discourage me from wearing short pleated skirts, halter tops, scoop neck tees, and knee-exposing dresses when I've only now embraced my femininity and even glanced at anything in the junior's department that wasn't a tank top or jean? Oh, I've checked out the full-fledged women's department and instantly, the skirt lengths go down past the knee, the coats and tops become unfitted and box-shaped, the shoulder pads are sewn back in, the pants and jeans get high-waisted, and the floral prints and patterns get HUGE and gaudy. I used to buy clothes just for function; now, I want clothing that further expresses how damn wonderful I am and how incredibly young and energetic I feel.

Meanwhile, I'm not picking up pencil leg jeans, tube tops, leggings, and other teen-type clothing just because it's there in the junior's department. I know what looks good on my aging body. I know what fits and what obviously doesn't. I know what doesn't accurately express the full development of my personal character and the added years of my own experience.

My new found fashion adviser goes on to list staples that every woman must have from a diamond tennis bracelet to designer shoes. I've never owned either. I probably never will. I thought I was looking for a personal style here... a suggested process for discovering it... would one woman really advise another to turn herself into a staple 30-something broad that looks like she's fresh out of a mall department store?

Did I mention that my brother actually only shared with his new acquaintance that I was seeking some advice about accessorizing? Yet, with one look at a few photos of me, I'm being steered away from my own current wardrobe and individuality entirely and fed exactly what a commercial would tell me I need to buy? Apparently, I need to run to the nearest shop and buy a collection of tights to wear under every skirt and dress in the cold season... why would you do that if you live in the desert and have nice legs? Apparently, I need to start wearing duct tape stretched across my chest under clothing to hide my natural breasts... for I have no other idea as to how I could possibly show less of them. Apparently, I need to buy some diamond jewelry... is that because I look like I need a "girl's best friend" and need to buy my own happiness? Apparently, I need a scarf just to throw on top of a purse to make a snazzy statement... I'll never understand that one.

I guess I'm on my own again. And I do work quite well that way. I walked into a Charlotte Russe store for the first time the other day and felt like I did finally discover my personal style: rocker sexy, edge with eroticism. Edgy, strong, independent, has something to say. Yeah, it'd probably be in the junior's department; but goddamnit, I'm only 34! And does sex appeal ever age? I don't think so. Do rockers ever grow old? Most certainly not. They're cool up to and even past the day they die. And so are porn stars.

I've picked up something else during the latter of my 30-some years: the whole world will spend your lifetime trying to convince you to live for others when true integrity, empowerment, happiness, and value for the world return is in living for yourself, for your own approval, for your own individuality, for insisting on sharing and using your own personal gifts.

I know one thing about my own personal style and fashion sense. It should and does feel right for me.