Tara Tainton

"For some, the first attempt at talking dirty with a partner can seem to be quite awkward. To eliminate some of that initial embarrassment, you should mention both the idea of the experiment to your partner as well as the limit of your desired kinkiness. The latter is created to help avoid a negative reaction from your partner in case you go “buck-wild” too quickly and cross their own personal boundaries. However, this chat should not occur directly before the incident; this could create massive unwanted pressure. Let’s face it – most people do not want be in the bright spot light when beginning to speak dirty."

Now, skip the part about learning to breathe right...you'll just scare your lover off or have her in the mood for a slow session of tantric sex that you aren't really intending to carry out. "Stabilizing your respiration?" Sex is never good if you're following a tip that sounds like it was extracted from a med student's manual! Okay, onto the next tip.

It's time to incorporate sound into your sex. Don't laugh! A lot of folks have difficulty integrating that much, or they find it detracts from the physical moment. Here's your chance to show, through verbal expression, how you're feeling, how you want him to feel, and prompt your lover in the right direction.

"You can begin to make sounds as you exhale. These sounds should usually be instinctive and relaxed such as “uh,” “ah,” “oh,” or “mmm.” Here you are able to comfortably drop your jaw to widen your mouth if wanted. Do not analyze these sounds; there is no need to worry whether you are making a correct sound. If you unsure, a good rule is that you can rarely go wrong with vowels rather than some awkward consonant. For example, perhaps you choose the sound “bah;” you will ultimately sound like one very naughty, moaning sheep."

Sex 101 later recommends "try adding an abdominal contraction as you are about to make the scooping motion" and something about "Ultimately, the contraction should make your pelvis finish the scooping motion by delicately going upwards and back down to its original state. From a side view, the path of your pelvis should resemble the digit, 'six.' For those looking for even more difficulty, let the quiver of the contraction be heard in the exhale breath." Yeah, you know I'm laughing at that! Forget that too.

The real key to talking dirty - and any sexual activity - is to be yourself and do what feels natural. It'll sound natural and comfortable to your lover then as well. So, ease into adding words when it feels right, when your breathing is heavy, the pace has picked up, and you can barely contain yourself from uttering, "Oh, baby! Yes. Fuck, yes!" Why would anyone not appreciate that sentiment and knowing they are really satisfying you?

"Talking Dirty 102" continues the gradual progression towards saying exactly what you're feeling. "To begin you should focus on these following questions: Which of my partner’s skills or attributes turn me on? How do they make me feel? How am I feeling right now? Dirty talking is mostly concerned with momentous sayings, so you should try to let your instinct carry you. If you feel that your partner is hot, call it as it is: “You are so hot!” If you feel that their touch makes your genitals quiver, say it: “Your touch makes my cock/pussy quiver.” If you feel that you are very hard/wet, state it: “I’m so hard/wet right now.”

However, a good rule of thumb is to avoid the word “because.” You are not writing an essay question. This will avoid sounding dull and it will also add urgency. In a sense, you may be cramming a long portion of a sentence in an exhaling breath so this forces you to say it very quickly, which emphasizes that urge. For example: “You laying there naked makes my cock/pussy hard/wet because I find you to be so irresistible.” You may be feeling this, but this is a bit long. Try separating the fragments with breaths. Long inhale, “You lying there naked,” quick inhale “Makes my cock/pussy hard/wet” inhale “You’re irresistible.” This style sounds more natural than mechanical, which is the intention of good dirty talk."

Now, let's take it up a notch. "To turn up the dirty talking a bit, you should focus on this question: What do I want to happen to my partner or to me? Do not be intimidated. Think about things like foreplay, oral, anal, the use of toys, different positions, being spanked, etc. The answers to this question can be transformed into very naughty phrases. These are all within you, for only you know what you want. Ok, so you can cheat if you really need to: if you draw a complete blank, watching adult films for inspiration is always a possibility. Nevertheless, you should look deep within yourself and bare all your dirty fantasies. “Long inhale, You just got out of the shower, couple breaths, I just want to fuck you until you can’t walk anymore, inhale, Cum/spray all over you, inhale, quivering exhale, inhale, Get you all dirty again.'"

Gee, I'm exhausted...and a bit randy. I'll talk to you later!

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Anonymous | 2009-12-02 19:14 Vasper Janik 07/22/2005 08:03 AM Thats the second time you've posted something that gave me a stiffy. Three strikes and your out...I was talking to my cock there ;0). Tara, your Here-to-please WebMistress 07/23/2005 10:38 AM So glad I could be of service, Vasper. ;) But it's only the second time?? :(

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3.23 Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved."