Tara Tainton

The page is a combo advertisement for Smitten Kitten, "a truly feminist sex toy store," and warning about hazardous sex toys. Yes, they could be lurking in your own bedside table, palm of your hand, or between your legs right now!

Smitten Kitten's ad lists the following purported facts about jelly sex toys:

• may cause/spread infections
• are porous (impossible to clean)
• may contain toxic chemicals (phthalates)
• irritate skin
• harbor bacteria, fungi, viruses
• off-gas noxious fumes
• are oily or greasy

Luckily, the text opposite the above bulleted list was designed to answer the very question in my head at the moment: "how do I know if I have 'jelly' sex toys?" Smitten Kitten recommends the "smell test." "The distinct odor of a toxic sex toy is caused by harmful chemicals off-gassing from the plastic. Jelly sex toys may have a strong chemical odor, similar to a new shower curtain or be perfumed."

My lover was relaxing on top of the bed beside me when I dropped my magazine I'd been quietly reading, ripped open the bedside table drawer beside me, grasped my new favorite toy, and started sniffing it. He thought I was completely nuts of course. I shoved the ad in his face. He was just as astonished and simultaneously bemused. We like our new jelly toy...

So, now what? Well, the news is new to me, so I'll probably put more research into it. Still, the ad's definitely got some convincing points. I've got a lot of smelly toys actually. I remember a particular "anal beginners" kit I'd ordered from Adam & Eve while I still lived in Australia. All those rubber sleeves of different shapes and lengths to go over the big black vibrator definitely had an off-putting smell... one that didn't wash off the first, second, third, or fourth time. That's why they're stored in their own sealed plastic bag since they arrived.

I don't feel I'm ready to get rid of the jelly stuff I've already bought and paid for. Besides, it feels so nice. Has anyone else heard of this danger of jelly sex toys?

• hypoallergenic
• non-porous (hygienic)
• no toxic chemicals
• safe for all skin types (vaginal, anal, and oral)
• dishwasher safe
• sterilize by boiling
• no taste or smell

So, keep an eye out for the jelly stuff, and consider choosing silicone instead. Then, you can add "smart sex toy consumer" to your resume for that next job interview.

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Anonymous | 2009-12-05 17:20 michael g.b. 05/15/2006 10:38 AM Tara, do You remember that commercial on television where they are all sitting around a "classy" dining-room table set with crystal and fine china . . . and that dude exclaims: "pluleez payass the jeylly!" . . and all go aghast! ha! Ed 05/15/2006 12:29 PM I'd always feel slightly dubious about an ad warning of the dangers of one thing while advertising another..... Still, jelly toys are often cheap and not designed for long lasting use.....caveat emptor Go for glass! Hardened for safety and looks on the mantlepiece when not in use! Tara, your Jelly-Lovin WebMistress 05/15/2006 01:58 PM Michael, I do remember that commercial! I guess "jelly" isn't the substance for the true sex toy connoisseur. :) Ed, I think glass toys are beautiful! I keep oggling them in catalogs, imagine how they feel, and really want to get one. Just haven't done so yet. What should I start with? A glass dildo or butt plug??? ;) Ed 05/15/2006 03:13 PM How about both? Double the pleasure! Vasper Janik 05/15/2006 03:46 PM Toys are fun but a distraction. Get some cock for fucks sake, you know it makes sense... Tara, your Doubled Up WebMistress 05/15/2006 03:59 PM Ed, I've always loved your way of thinking! Lana 05/31/2006 01:59 PM Glass toys are more expensive than the traditional, But they are so easy to clean, transfer heat and cold well are pretty to look at ( some are real works of art ! And they feel WONDERFUL for all types of play... You will never regret investing in one, or two or a dozen ...! Tara, your Toy-Loving WebMistress 06/01/2006 12:42 AM Thanks for the recommendation, Lana! I've been eager for a glass toy for a long time, even found myself fantasizing about having one! Did notice the cost though in browsing around online recently...yikes. Might have to start with the cheapest one to get some practice in. ;)

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3.23 Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved."