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Showing Off My Newfound Super Strength


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13 May 2016

Can it be? Can my body really transform in mere moments? Can my tired, dorky, underdeveloped, lazy, out-of-shape, and hopeless self be changed into a… a… a superheroine?!? Is it possible? I can barely believe it… just this morning, I was whimpering, whining, exhausted, and unable to even develop one teeny tiny muscle in a worthless attempt to get into shape.

I was angry at my bodybuilding roommate for leaving his Olympic size barbell in the middle of our shared gym room… as usual. I couldn’t lift a thing, couldn’t stretch, could barely totter on my own two feet. A delivery changed my entire day… my entire life! I was still skeptical, didn’t take a sip until after a nourishing nap. I thought, “what the hell?!” and drank up.

And then, it started to happen. My body tightening and changing shape, my eyesight correcting in a single blink, my muscles developing and enlarging… all right before my eyes!! And… and… when I felt something changing beneath my clothes, I pulled and yanked and ripped to reveal… a shiny new uniform suitable for a real hero!

The gym was no longer a challenge but a game… I could lift immense wait with merely one little finger, I could run faster than a speeding bullet… and the fun and games only ended when I heard a distant cry for help…

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