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I never knew how much controversy surrounds working under a pen name until I penned my own. Being one that few felt inclined to nickname, I was excited about finding a new name that suited me, had meaning for me, and lent more creative freedom in this uptight culture of ours. How many of us actually get to choose our own name for presenting ourselves and our ideas to the world?
And then, there was the friend who argued with me about how, if I'm truly proud and not ashamed of my work, I would be attaching my legal name to it. As a non-writer, he just couldn't see any disadvantages of writing largely controversial material (not to mention, material that is considered illegal in many locations) under one's own name, especially knowing me for many years, to include my "honesty always" credo and immense pride in standing up for my beliefs. For a moment, I questioned why I ever took on a pen name in the first place, despite already having been published under it.
The fact is that I am not ashamed of what flows from my mind, but I am aware enough of the world around me and the others in it to know that some would feel uncomfortable by the thoughts I have to share. I believe that, as artists, we should be accepted for any medium we work in or genre we have talent in, and it's nearly impossible to label us in just one category when an artist's creativity just isn't that finite.
Still, I know that there are others who judge our talent based on their personal comfort, fears, or sense of right or wrong, and many are in a position to limit our career options because of it. Of course, I also intend to raise the children I may have some day and continue to affect acquaintances toward an open-minded view of the world and tolerance of others, but I also don't think I should knowingly add to their discomfort, stress, and confusion during their earliest years or period of smaller world view by forcing them to deal with the choices I've made for myself.
Taking a pen name isn't giving in, selling out, or denying who we really are. It's protecting our loved ones and allowing ourselves more privacy and room to breathe while we secretly infiltrate the inner reaches of society so that we can one day jump up and say, "Hey, guess who I really am! I've just proven I can write from the soul, arouse sexual desire in readers, where the crown of porn queen, and Reader's Digest and Family Circle still seek after my writing as if I'm Mother Teresa. Now, how about giving others like me the benefit of the doubt and more opportunities at the start of our careers?" Now, that's what I call clever and being true to oneself.
When it comes down to it, you have to fit in just a bit to affect that which is avoiding being "infected" by your alternative ways and newfangled ideas. You have to know and respect the rules, have an understanding of them, before you can change them. Another name for myself is just another name. People go by and even prefer nicknames throughout their lives, and that never means they're hiding behind them, embarrassed for who they are in entirety, or just can't face reality. Joe and Jane don't walk around carrying signs listing everything about themselves; why are we, as writers and artists, expected to? By taking a pen name, we're forcing our culture to do what it should've been all along: judging us based on the quality of our work and not personal principles and prejudices. And you know what else? It's just plain fun!
What's in a name? An artist by any other name would create as sweetly.
Essay originally written November 4th, 2005
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Sex Writing 
