"At this point, you could do a taboo scenario in space, and I’d still purchase it. Keep it up, Tara; you’re one of a kind."

I Do… All Over Again

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28 April 2015

It hasn’t been the same… not since your father passed away.  Since he’s left our lives, it’s been all I can do to just hold myself together really… and to be the mother you need me to be.

When we’re cleaning out the closet and I come across the box holding the contents of what I wore that day… the happiest day of my life… it’s all I can do to keep myself from crying right then and there in front of my grown son.  I don’t want to look ridiculous, don’t want to seem like a big pile of emotion, but that nostalgia overwhelms me.  To see the very lingerie that I wore for your father… that he touched… that I was wearing when… well, the moment that you, my son, came to be…   I just…

Well, if you insist, if you think it’s good for me, I’ll try it on again.  I’ll see if the beautiful satin corset fits, if the veil your grandmother hand made for me still makes me look as pretty as it did that one day of my life.

I won’t be able to help getting caught up in the moment… not when I’m feeling beautiful again, loved again, safe and secure again… not when I remember so well that day I stood next to your father before the preacher and we said “I do.”  I especially can’t help getting lost in the fantasy when you are wearing the same tuxedo your father did that day.

You look so very much like him… you make me feel… Just live the fantasy with me, darling.  Just be my husband… I need him…

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