"I felt like you had climbed inside my thoughts and desires and acted them out. It is the first time in my life that I felt like a woman had any idea of what I truly burned for."

Driven to Desperation and Devastation to Save My Job

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5 June 2014

I… I can’t believe what I just did. But I HAD to!! I had no choice… not if I wanted to keep my job. And I really NEED that job. I didn’t know what to do… I just heard that they were firing so many people within the company; coworker after coworker was dismissed, leaving just a few females in the building. I heard… I heard that the cutback spared women who, uh, “put out.” I didn’t even know what that means! I’m still not quite sure.

So, I decided to research it. I just hopped on the internet and learned all about lap dances, stripteases, blowjobs… ew GROSS!! I’ve never seen so many disgusting images in my life. I… I’ve never done anything like that myself. I mean, I’ve never even had a boyfriend! I just work, you know, and keep to myself. I mean, I’m not THAT kind of girl!

But this time… I just had to. It was the only way I could retain my position in the company. When I had that meeting with my boss, I just begged and pleaded for my job and when I knew there was nothing left for me to do, I just… gosh I almost cry all over again to think about how terribly uncomfortable and awkward and desperate I was! I just started… doing what I thought he wanted me to do.

I tried to dance, tried to do a lap dance thing, tried to show off my body… I’ve never done that before!! I… could barely hold back my tears. I felt so stupid, so out of my element. But I kept going and going… until I was actually kneeling on the ground and unzipping my boss’s pants and… it was SO GROSS!!

I just… and then he… and I started gagging… I thought I was going to die! And then I asked him one more time if I could keep my job.

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