"You are an innovator!"

Detailing Your Deserved Night of Burning Blue Balls

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21 March 2011

So, you’ve been lasciviously staring at my hot girlfriends and I at the office. I knew there was something creepy about your nerdy appearance and geeky ways; I knew it as soon as the boss hired you just a few weeks ago. I’ve witnessed you staring at my friends’ asses as they cross your path during the workday, and I know you must be up to more. Ever hear of sexual harassment?? That’s what you do to us with your eyes and thoughts.

I’m going to figure out all that you’re up to, and I’m going to find a way to put you back in your place and control your dirty ways… if I don’t decide to just get you fired first. I have a plan. All your sexy female coworkers are involved, all three of us.

First, I’m going to have a good look around your desk when you’re gone to lunch and see what dirt I can dig up on you. Your internet browsing history is bound to reveal something you’re not supposed to be doing on company time. Next, I’m going to use my own charm and your attraction to me to lure you over to my place for a nonexistent social gathering.

And finally, I’m going to put you in a very vulnerable position when you’re in my very own home and detail to you exactly how the evening is going to play out and just why you’re going to have the biggest case of blue balls you’ve ever had… in order to force you into behaving at the office and respecting your fellow coworkers.

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