"They say you should never meet your heroes, but I think in your case I think I'd make a rare exception."

Congratulations on Purchasing The Perfect Girlfriend 2000

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3 October 2012

You’ve come home from work to find a package has arrived. What could be tucked inside that slinky, tight, woman-shaped bag?? Wait, there’s a tag… “Congratulations on purchasing The Perfect Girlfriend 2000.” Could it be… it must be… it is!!!!

Your biggest fantasy has come true. Your long, lonely nights are over. You now have a woman – a robotic woman – at your beck and call to do your bidding in every way imaginable. Yahoo!!!! She’s everything you ever wanted in a woman: perfect eyes, lips, hair, breasts, ass, legs, feet, toes…. and with an on/off switch. Why waste time? Turn her on!

Ah, look how she comes to life, her eyes light up, and her sexy lips curl into a seductive smile…. “what are you looking at, you piece of shit?!” Wait, what??? Oh, no!! You’ve been sent Abusive Girlfriend 2000 by mistake! And you can’t turn her off again! The thick instruction manual is no help at all… zipping her back up in her packaging doesn’t shut her up either. Run for your life!!!