"You are on the way to breaking the internet. You have broken my ability to think about anything other than you several times."

What Can Mommy Do to Make You Feel Better?


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17 February 2015

Now, what is that pout for? Why does my big boy look upset? What do you mean she didn’t show up? The girl you were going on a date with? Oh, you poor thing…. she doesn’t deserve you then, you know. Not my wonderful boy.

Now, what’s the big deal? Did you really like her? No? Then, why… OH! You just wanted to… Oh, dear. Yes, I know what you boys get up to at your age… what you need… but, honey, you can go take care of that in your room all by yourself.

You don’t need a girl for that. Just go… Oh, don’t make me say the “M word”! Do you need your mother to help you? Of course, you don’t. You know what I mean… go take care of all that pent up frustration.

Or I’ll make you do it right here in front of me. Now, you don’t want me to do that, do you?

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